Interlude: Lettuce Leaves and Stir Fry – (I do not belong in the real world)

From the “Why am I the way I am?”  department…

I made a stir fry for lunch this morning.  Noodles, veggies… some garlic and some heat.  Not bad for a Wednesday morning at 7:30AM.

It is lunchtime.  I am hungry.   I did not bring a utensil.

I then discovered that there was not a utensil available in my entire building.   It was either a spatula included in a pizza box some time ago, or use the smoothe machine and extrude the mix into my thermos.

(You guys know I work in an office complex within a large factory, right?  And that I take the bus?”   So just “going out” isn’t really an option)

Miraculously,  a co worker drops by my office, and tells me that she is driving up to Kroger.

I explain my plight, and I blurt out, entirely without thinking “Hey, I brought this stir fry thingy into work today, and don’t have a fork or a spoon and there aren’t any in the kitchen, when you’re in the grocery store, can you buy me a head of boston lettuce or something so that I can maybe wrap the stir fry up in the leaves and eat it that way?”

“Um, Jeff…” she replied, incredulously.

“Yeah, I’m serious, can you!??!”

“Jeff why don’t I just… BRING YOU BACK A FORK.”