Well, aren’t you just… precious.
Your pages are glossy and guided, your cover is padded with embossed lettering, you come in your own box, swaddled in a piece of aubergine tissue paper. And you have this… way about you. This… tone. A tone that somehow manages to be simultaneously breezy and yet demanding and utterly, utterly pompous. It’s the tone the Lord of the Manor uses to remind an impertinent guest where he can park his helicopter. French bakers employ this tone, as do exiled members of the aristocracy and those claim to have seen REM perform live prior to 1983.