The Bacovore’s Hundred

I’m seeing a lot of these lists, lately.  First it was the  Omnivore’s Hundred and then the  Vegetarian Hundred and the Vegan Hundred and Julie’s Carnivore’s Hundred.

Well, I cannot and will not be left behind.  This shall be my contribution to internet memedom.

You know the drill.  Mark the items that you’ve tried and post to your own blog.  Be sure to link back, k?

The Bacovore’s Hundred

1.  bacon
2.  bacon, center cut
3.  bacon, applewood smoked
4.  bacon, cob smoked
5.  bacon, jowl
6.  bacon, whatever is at the store
7.  bacon, artisanal
8.  bacon, mail order
9.  bacon, carefully cooked
10. bacon, deliberately undercooked
11. bacon, passive-aggressively undercooked
12. bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich
13. bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich on freshly baked bread, homemade mayonnaise and garden tomatoes at their peak.  Hell yes!
14. bacon mac and cheese
15. bacon, quiche with
16. bacon, omelett containing
17. bacon, alongside an omlett not containing
18. bacon and eggs
19. bacon and eggs served in a diner between the hours of 2am and 6am
20. bacon with eggs comma poached
21. bacon with eggs comma poached served over a salad
22. bacon with eggs comma poached served over a baby green salad with a vinaigrette containing non-negligible quantities of the rendered bacon fat
23. bacon fat used as a cooking medium for potato pancakes
24. bacon fat used as a cooking medium for other meats
25. bacon fat used as a cooking medium for other meats, specifically, other bacon
26. bacon fat used as thickening agent for a bechamel
27. bacon fat used as thickening agent for a bechamel, where eventual dish will contain additional bacon
28. bacon fat used as culinary-sexual leitmotif during phone-sex
28a Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share that, by the way.
29. bacon infused vodka
30. bacon lettuce and tomato: a cocktail containing bacon infused vodka, dry vermouth (as the lettuce) and tomato juice
31. bacon, eating a pursulane-celeriac salad while looking at a picture of
32. bacon, peanut butter and (sandwich)
33. bacon cream cheese
34. bacon cream cheese on a bagel
35. bacon cream cheese on a bagel with bacon
36. bacon toffee
37. bacon brittle
38. bacon cheesecake
39. bacon cookies
40. bacon ice-cream
41. bacon ice-cream (chocolate based)
42. bacon ice-cream garnished with bacon
43. bacon corn bread
44. bacon muffins
45. bacon with sautéed brussels sprouts
46. bacon, New England baked beans with
47. Frisee Au Lardon FREEDOM SALAD
48. Frisee Au Lardon FREEDOM SALAD prepared only a few minutes after garnering dumbfounded looks at the IGA after you spend  twenty minutes or more picking every last bit of frisee out of the bulk mesclun bin
49. Bacon Barley Soup
50. Bacon Barley Soup with salt pork, because you forgot the soup was made with salt pork and you added the bacon anyway
51. Bacon Barley Soup with salt pork, just because
52. bacon on pasta
53. bacon in a pasta sauce prepared by a significant other who refuses to prepare puttanesca because you insist on explaining, each time in insufferable and excruciating detail, its tawdry origins in Roman brothels
54. bacon on pizza
55. bacon that was recently on pizza
56. bacon with pizza
57. bacon, scallops enrobed in
58. bacon, drumsticks wrapped in
59. bacon, melon encrusted with
60. bacon, rosewater meringue enshrouded by
61. bacon, potato gratin with
62. bacon, Canadian
63. Canadian Bacon
64. bacon, American, while being vaguely funnier yet smug
65. bacon, eaten with “sounds.”  You know what I mean.
66. bacon, grilled cheese sandwich containing
67. bacon salt
68. bacon seasoning, other
69. bacon toothpicks
70. bacon mints
71. bacon bandages
72. bacon air freshener
73. bacon air freshener fashioned from the packing material of mail-ordered bacon.
74. bacon-themed clothing
75. bacon gum
76  bacon wallet
77  bacon place mats
78  miscellaneous bacon novelties
79. bacon, used as a garnish/condiment on one or more of the following: baked potatoes, rosemary squash bisque, cheese fries
80. bacon, used as a garnish/condiment/supplement, for your plate only, during a romantic dinner for two when the dinner guest is a vegetarian.
81. bacon, conversation starter
82. bacon: the microbrand
83. bacon club
84. bacon cheeseburger
85. bacon double cheeseburger
86. bacon double cheeseburger consumed late at night in a strip mall parking while allowing John Deliberto’s voice to drown out the gluttonous self loathing
87. bacon and lentil soup, traditional recipe
88. bacon and lentil soup, recipe originally vegan
89. bacon, rice pilaf with
90. bacon, risotto with
91. bacon, raw, in front of your refrigerator door at 2am because your vegetarian dinner guests have left for the evening and trichinosis seems a reasonable alternative to gnawing your arm off
92. bacon, deep-fried. You heard me.
93. bacon, something fussy containing it along with two or more of the following, goat cheese, philo pastry, spinach and portabella mushrooms
94. bacon, french fry coated on a stick
95. bacon, nitrate free
96. bacon cornbread
97. bacon biscuits
98. bacon, as a prop during a historical re-enactment of Lee’s surrender at Appomattox.
99. bacon, the morning after the following dream:  You are walking through a train station in a large metropolitan city.  You put a wooden nickel into an automated coffee vending machine.  The holy grail appears in the dispenser.  The chalice fills with bacon.
100. bacon, in the following manner:

2 strips of bacon, slightly undercooked in a cast iron skillet and set aside.  Leave the skillet on medium-high
3/4 C flour
pinch salt
pinch “something” (garlic powder, Mexican oregano, paprika, etc.)
pinch baking powder
1/4 cup grated parm-reg

Drizzle about two tablespoons of the flour on the flour on a clean surface.  Add the backing powder, salt, and mystery spice
to the remaining flour (obviously this should be in a bowl of some sort.  Just saying)

Add water, while stirring, until dough resembles a loose paste, knead on the floured surface and press into a flat disk.

Fry on both sides in the rendered bacon fat.  Add grated cheese. Eat, along with the bacon.

8 thoughts on “The Bacovore’s Hundred

  1. Love it! I really wish there was some way to fit it into a Cambodian recipe blog!

    But… Um… Artesian bacon comes from huge underground bacon reserves? Yes? :)

  2. D’Oh! You can tell what a horrible proofreader I am! Underground Bacon Reserves. Now THAT would be paradise.

  3. #1 -ok, in my former years (we’re talking at least 12+ ago), i will admit to 1, 6, 12, 13, 18 & 19.

    #2 – i was involved with a situation like #80 – only i was the vegetarian guest.

    #3i also had bacon wrapped filet mignon, but i didn’t see that on your list.

    #4 – i’m going to veganize some of these! (faux bacon and lentil soup! yum!)

    #5 – 28 scares me. throughly.

  4. Miss V – Thanks for your engaging comments.

    I haven’t had the best luck with lentil soup sans pork product… even with my favorite veg broth (corn cobs, tomato peel, onion, herbs- simmered for an hour) I can’t seem to find the right flavor.

    As for the other thing, I suppose I should have offered the disclaimer that I do not neccecarily support nor condone everything on the list. :)

  5. i am at work and trying without much success to stifle laughter. i fear my cube-mates may question my sanity.
    love the list, although i did not see one of my family’s traditions…bacon grease pie crust.

  6. k -

    Thanks so much for stopping by, and don’t stifle laughter, it’s bad for you, even if you earn the scorn of your co-workers.

    And Bacon Grease Pie Crust? Next time I do a quiche, I’m there. For sure.

  7. abadeeba – friseé is a wonderful green, aint it. It’s worth the effort to find the right alt-key, also. They just never seem to have enough in the bagged mixes, and it’s not the easiest thing to find. But I love it when I can.