Interlude: Lettuce Leaves and Stir Fry – (I do not belong in the real world)

From the “Why am I the way I am?”  department…

I made a stir fry for lunch this morning.  Noodles, veggies… some garlic and some heat.  Not bad for a Wednesday morning at 7:30AM.

It is lunchtime.  I am hungry.   I did not bring a utensil.

I then discovered that there was not a utensil available in my entire building.   It was either a spatula included in a pizza box some time ago, or use the smoothe machine and extrude the mix into my thermos.

(You guys know I work in an office complex within a large factory, right?  And that I take the bus?”   So just “going out” isn’t really an option)

Miraculously,  a co worker drops by my office, and tells me that she is driving up to Kroger.

I explain my plight, and I blurt out, entirely without thinking “Hey, I brought this stir fry thingy into work today, and don’t have a fork or a spoon and there aren’t any in the kitchen, when you’re in the grocery store, can you buy me a head of boston lettuce or something so that I can maybe wrap the stir fry up in the leaves and eat it that way?”

“Um, Jeff…” she replied, incredulously.

“Yeah, I’m serious, can you!??!”

“Jeff why don’t I just… BRING YOU BACK A FORK.”

::crickets::

6 thoughts on “Interlude: Lettuce Leaves and Stir Fry – (I do not belong in the real world)

  1. but think of how awesomer your dish would be, wrapped in lettuce leaves?!
    and if your coworker hadn’t gone to the store, would you have eaten your lunch face in bowl style, kinda like a dog??

  2. Ha!

    My fallback position was a folded up piece of paper. I reserve dogbowl action for 3am when I have leftover braises and I’ve had a nightmare.

    And, yes, I specifically did say boston lettuce because I was oddly excited about the sweet crispness.

  3. Reminds me of another Jeff with no utensils story. I’ll be sure to bring some for our picnic.

  4. Heh. This made me smile. From the title, I thought you made stir-fried lettuce. Once, one of my students made ramen, but we were out of utensils. I offered him two wooden coffee stirrers. That sort of worked as chopsticks, and what he couldn’t pick up, he just kinda shoveled into his mouth.