Indulgent breakfasts are one thing. Indulgent alcohol doused brunches are another. And, forgive me for sounding like I’m channeling Jennifer Love Hewitt, homemade crepes and mimosas for breakfast is totally the most amazing and awesomest thing ever.

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So I was mildly amused at the small but noticeable traffic spike I experienced this past weekend, presumably because so many people thought I might have posted something in honor of International Bacon Day.  Two things.

1. I love you. But I am not your goddamn bacon hero.
2. Every day is International Bacon Day.  Amateurs.

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It had to be done.  The words came out of my mouth, the vision appeared in my head, and my fate was sealed.

Does this ever happen to you?  Going from zero to completely obsessed in a matter of seconds?  About something that had not ever really crossed your mind before?

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It’s somewhere.  Even now, it stalks me.

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I might have to shave my head Monday night.

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Let’s do a little experiment, shall we?

1. Look around your desk, cubicle, coffee table, couch or piggy bank for all the nickels you can find. At least a big handfull of them.
2. Put them in your mouth*.

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Mkay. Personal life.  Like so many of my issues it relates back to food, but permit me to unburden.

I’ve been stressing out lately.  Beneath my even-keeled calm veneer and amid even the absurdly simplistic zen garden of my life, I find myself very jittery of late, and not always dealing with these jitters in the most productive of ways.

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I promise you that the following recipe is, in fact, bacon related, and that the following self disclosure is germaine to my recipe.
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There are some days I question my commitment.  This, my friends, is not one of those days.

I’m quite sure that I am not the first person on Earth to think about cooking up bacon and then using the ensuing pan drippings to pop up a batch of popcorn.  Many people fantasize about bacon.

I get to live the dream.

And actually, now that the stuff has cooled down, it tastes pretty good.   You DO taste the bacon, but it’s the faintest hint.  There is a slight hint of rich savory and smoke, but nothing overpowering. 

And here is a confession.  Until this evening, I have never cooked popcorn on the stove before.  But it’s a fairly common method given in several cookbooks - heavy stainless steel bowl, oil, salt, kernels, cover with foil, bowl over high heat, moving constantly with tongs.  

I got a kick out of doing it.  I smiled when I heard the bacon grease sizzle (as i am wont to do) inside the bowl… and a few seconds later I actually heard popping!

And what was most fun about it is that you have to gauge doneness by smell and by ear.   You can’t really see the inside of the bowl, naturally, so you use your nose.  You should smell “popcorn” but not “burned popcorn” AND the popping should have reached just beyond the point where its popping really urgently. 

Anyway, let’s review.

Three strips of bacon.  ”Reserve” the “pan drippings”

1/3 cup popcorn in a heavy-bottomed stainless steel bowl, along with a heavy drizzling of fine salt (not kosher) and the bacon grease.

Cover with aluminium foil.  Say “al -u- MIN- i - um” in a fake British accent like I always do.   Jab a few holes.

Medium High heat.  Use a pair of tongs and keep the bowl moving!  You will hear the oil bubble and then hear your first pop in about one minute.  

An idea just occurred to me for next time.  The next time I dry-cure pork, I am going to dry that salt and use it!   Or maybe not.  We’ll see.

1. Revulsion
A prophet is never understood in his own time. I’m used to this.  It happens most notably with sweet applications: the cookies, the candy, the ice cream.  But a DRINK?  A sweet, traditional dairy-based drink at that.  “No way, Jeff, It’ll be like drinking gravy!”  Or “Gross! Why would i want strips of bacon floating around in my glass?”    I’ve certainly heard my share of scorn from those of us who do not embrace the Bacon Lifestyle.

2. Bewilderment
Fortunately, just as stage number one is inevitable, it follows that the “eeeeu” always morphs into a “huh?” I speculate that certain food combinations seem SO outrageous, that they remain in one’s head even after the emotional reaction passes. The idea just… sits there like a seed on the most fertile soil. 

Yes, I say fertile.   People WANT to eat bacon.  They just do.

3. Intruige
Now, If I can get you to “huh?” I can most likely get you to “hmmm.”  It’s at this point I can explain several things. 

Most importantly this is NOT a hamshake.  That would be gross.  What we are talking about is taking an egg and dairy-driven beverage and infusing it with a highly complimentary flavor set. 

Also, I mention that the bacon is strained out.  I mean, we totally eat it later because we never EVER waste bacon, but this does remain a beverage.

4. Bargaining
Sometimes people just need to get comfortable with an idea. They raise objections and express hesitation.  Does it taste greasy?  No.  Does it reek of bacon?  Actually no, it’s more of a milder, smoky, savory undertone which balances the sweetness, and besides, there is enough fat to sort of diffuse harsh flavors.   But basically by this point, people are intimating if certain conditions are met, they might be willing. 

5. Realignment
If I can get you to this point, there is a 95% chance you will eventually submit to the power of Bacon Eggnogg.   The question has to move from “why should I?” to, “why shouldn’t I?”  To me it’s simple.  It’s a natural pairing.   Starsky and Hutch. Bird and Magic.  Bacon and …eggs.  So stop resisting.

6. Visualization
Once you realize that the bacon is strained out of the dairy, the recipe starts to come together. 

An aside. There is a certain unspoken and probably subconscious convention of recipe writing which drives me nuts.  Have you ever noticed that when a traditional recipe is modified by the addition of one blockbuster ingredient, the recipe writer will feel compelled to make a second, theoretically complimentary substitution that is often completely useless or needless? 

I felt compelled, when developing this recipe to tinker with both the spices and the alcohol.  Eggnogg is traditionally flavored with freshly ground nutmeg, and is most often spiked with Bourbon. 

Because of the bacon, however, I felt compelled to experiment with Allspice vs Nutmeg, and rye whiskey versus Bourbon.

In both cases, the substitutions were acceptable.  The allspice provided a rounder set of spices to support the bacon and the rye brought with it a grainyness that didn’t undercut the savory. 

So I’m keeping the rye but using nutmeg. 

Bacon Eggnogg

1/4 cup sugar
2 eggs, separated
2 cups Whole Milk
1/2 cup half and half or heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon of freshly grated nutmeg
2 T (or more) rye whiskey or Burboun
2 sticks bacon, cooked until most of the fat renders out, and dried.

Combine the milk and the cream and the bacon in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer.  Refrigerate until cool or place in an ice-bath.

Whisk the egg yolks until lighter in color and take on volume.  Slowly add sugar.  The mixture should be thick and fall into the bowl in ribbons.

Beat eggs whites until stiff peaks form.

Drain the bacon from the dairy mixture.   Add booze and spices.

Combine the milk with the yolk and then fold in the white.  Garnish with additional nutmeg.

Serves two. 

 
7. Acceptance

This stuff is beyond delicous.